The Day in the life of Tony Cliffe

The blog that's full of discussion, advice, travel and ramblings!

Category: Travel

A last minute escape to the wild North Cumbria Lakes: Part Two – St. Bees Lighthouse Hike

A less than easy Cliff walk followed by a night under the stars. Part one: https://thedayinthelifeoftonycliffe.com/2020/12/31/a-last-minute-escape-to-the-wild-north-cumbria-lakes-part-one-ennerdale-water-hike/

I had one of those nights of sleep wherein a dream it had felt like hours had passed and upon waking to a darkened and distinctly chilly room, it turned out barely an hour had ticked on the clock. So while I felt wide awake despite this, I tossed and turned before I eventually drifted off to sleep again, however, not before marvelling at the stars and the nearly full moon above my bed. In this room, two giant skylights pierced the ceiling above my head, a deep black was speckled with twinkling stars while the bright moon bathed the room in a silvery blanket of light. No need for any lights to go on tonight!

Moon through the skylight from my bed

Somewhere between marvelling at the night sky and tossing and turning, I was awoken by my alarm. Still dark outside, with the sun yet to raise its head this far north at this time of year, I got dressed and headed downstairs. Today was another walking day. Peering through the skylights, a thick frost had formed unsurprisingly with the thermometer dropping down to -6c! Of course, it made perfect logical sense to spend a day walking the windswept coastal cliffs of the Irish sea!

After breakfast and my bag was packed I thawed the car out, forever grateful to have heated windows, seats and steering wheel in my trusty Vauxhall Corsa, affectionately called Celine. I was a little nervous as I waited for the ice to turn into water and trickle down the windscreen. While I was out walking the lake yesterday, my family had tried to find this location I was going to, the car park at St. Bees. They had spent the day in Whitehaven before ending up in what turned out to be, the entirely wrong part of St. Bees. My Dad’s description of the narrow roads and how for him, someone who is an advanced paramedic and is trained in every type of advanced driving there is, scared him. I told myself that I was going the right way and that the location I was going, which my Android Auto google maps screen displayed, would not be as scary as their adventure.

Celine’

With a clear screen and my back and hands suitably warm from the heaters, my Dad made sure the blind bend was clear and with a wave, I was off to St. Bees. Nervous for the drive. Living on the greenbelt land of a major city, the roads are, for the most part, well kept and well lit. Living on the border of the countryside of Lancashire I can be on country backroads in seconds, and I’ve spent many a year on my bike cycling them. However, there are country roads, and then there are Lake District country roads! Where it’s single track, hedgerows tower either side, blind bends and dips, not to mention with it being -4c on the car’s display that the road was completely full of ice.

Some people hate motorway driving, I adore it, I spend hours on them every day travelling to work (pre-lockdown). Narrow twisty, tight, blind and icy country lanes are not for me. I appreciate the ‘driving’ of it, but the constant fear is not my cup of tea!

After 30 minutes of cautious and at times white-knuckled driving (especially when a tractor appeared on a single track, narrow road), I arrived at St. Bee’s carpark. A complete contrast to what my family had travelled to the day before, this, was the proper St. Bee’s. St. Bee’s located just south of Whitehaven on the West coast is a famous location for anyone familiar with the ‘C2C’- Coast to Coast walk. A renowned walk or cycle, from here to the East coast. Tradition is you would dip a boot or a rear tire in the Irish sea and then dip them again into the North Sea at the end of your journey. Me and my cycling buddy Shaun, a few years ago had very much planned to do the C2C in less than 94 hours for charity, but things got in the way, and we never did complete that challenge. Yet, it was oddly satisfying years later to actually get to this famous spot in the UK.

In the summer, I’m sure this place would be heaving with intrepid adventurers starting the C2C with excitement and trepidation. The cheering support of family members mixed in with the tourists and locals enjoying the mobile holiday homes, ice creams and the gravel beach. Today, however, I was one of only two cars in this vast carpark with nothing but a few greedy Wagtails milling about, a Cawing of a Seagull and a bitingly cold Irish sea breeze.

After paying less than Β£5 for a day ticket at the car park, I quickly got my walking boots, gloves, hat and Buff on, then headed off to the looming and quite imposing ascent of the headland to my right. Short but hard work up the steep and wet and muddy trail, thankful to have my walking poles with me for stability although a fat lot of good they did on the way down to my own demise later on! I climbed higher with every pump of the heart, the sea falling away to my left, the beach now at my back and the ever-present biting wind. Thankful for the steep climb to keep me warm but my legs weren’t as excited about it, especially after yesterday’s hike!

Chilly on the cliffs

The headland eventually flattened out, only for a short respite before climbing again. I don’t mind short sharp vertical ascents, all that pain is worth it as it’s shortlived, hell, yesterday’s scramble was epic. However, when scrambling, you get to use all four parts of your body to heave yourself up a mountain. Here nothing but your legs that kept giving way on the deep mud and slick grass making it harder than it ought to be!

The headland followed rolling hills, which forever seemed to be climbing more than they descended. A narrow muddy path had been forged over the years from walkers which made progression slower than I’d have liked. I didn’t dare risk walking on the grass off the path, while free of mud, I’d already had enough close calls of slipping on the grass to warrant pushing my luck further. That and with such a steep slant towards the sea, I didn’t fancy my chances! Eventually, after some slogging, my destination came into view. A tiny white speck on the horizon, St. Bee’s Lighthouse, glistening in the early morning sun, at least now I had a point to work towards.

St Bees lighthouse on the horizon

To my left the Irish Sea was far below me, sea birds swirled on the winds, the taught horizon so clear. As much as I love the mountains and the Lakes, I’m forever drawn to water. A long history of seafarers in my family dates back to the Spanish Armarda on my Mums side. Nearly every generation has been away to sea. I find comfort in the ocean, although it’s to be respected. There is nothing quite like that blue that the sea has!

In the distance out to sea, the Isle of Man and the Scottish borders were visible. I was surprised how close and clear the Isle of Man was from here. Again, a wonderful island with close family ties to the Island, I’ve enjoyed my time on it. Unfortunately, it will be a while until I return. With their borders closed off and having dealt with COVID a damn sight better than we have, they’re living their best lives with no social restrictions and no cases across the water. Good luck to them! An island standing out in the ocean like an Ocean Liner, no one in or out. I paused for a moment, looking across the sea and I wondered, was someone on the Island looking across to me and thinking “Glad I’m not over there”.

Pushing on towards the Lighthouse, which seemed to be getting further away than closer, the headland abruptly stopped. An inlet of water had eroded a weakness in the rock causing a distinct split. After heading down a makeshift staircase, covered in ice and mud, I arrived at the bottom. Polished rock from the water churned and tumbled down the small valley, before heading out onto the gravel beach and out into the sea. I had no clue on tide-times, and I didn’t fancy getting stuck on a beach with an incoming tide! So I elected to traverse the mini raging river across the polished flat rocks. I gingerly made my way across, watching the water spill over my boots, taking all the mud with it, before crossing to the other sideβ€”a deep breath, another short but very sharp climb back up this side of the headland.

At the top, I spotted my first other walkers, it had been so quiet so far. They were heading back in my direction, probably making the summit for sunrise and heading back again. With a cheerful hello, holding my breath to give the appearance of a fit, well-walked man when, in reality, I was dying inside from the climb!

Peaceful St Bees Lighthouse

Eventually, I arrived at the Lighthouse. Nothing spectacular, but then again, I’ve spent most of my travels around the world photographing lighthouses, and it takes something to beat some of the ones I’ve seen! However, what made this place pleasant is while I caught my breath, you could see the Scottish borders and mountains blanketed in thick snow. From here, it looked like a layer of clouds against the sea. Beautiful.

As always, the walk back never fails to feel quicker. By now, the sun was rising in the sky, reflecting off the rugged cliffs, shining while the sea boiled and tossed below. I couldn’t help but snap away and marvel at it all. Coming back this way I noticed other things I hadn’t before, particularly the North Lakes to my right and in the distance, the distinct silhouette of Sellafield Nuclear Power Plant. A place I’ve known for many years, often terrified me as a kid should it ever explode and now I could see it with my own eyes. Pretty cool!

Sellafield

After congratulating myself for not falling over, and chuckling to myself as I watched a man stack it on the way up the steep climb that I was now ascending, my laughter was short-lived. Both heels slide forward and with all my might, I managed to dig my poles in, although felt a twist in my back I didn’t fall. Deep breath, good save. Started to move again and boom, flat on my back as I slid down the hill but the poles arrested the fall. I clock a couple coming towards me, to their credit they look away (probably holding back a laugh but grateful they didn’t) in classic embarrassment, I curse myself, then look at the ground in disapproval and a shake of my head before continuing down the headland to solid ground. I dipped my boots into the ocean to clean them from the massacre of mud on them before making my way back to the car. A delightful morning walk!

Route Taken

Later that evening, we headed out after dark back to the lake. While I love my landscape photography, I’ve perfected the nighttime shot of the stars as an amateur astrophotographer. I’ve loved taking star pictures from my garden at home to the Northern Lights in Iceland. The prospect of some night photography on the lake was something I absolutely wanted to do here.

Ennerdale Water at night

Despite it now being way below freezing we made our way to the water’s edge. No need for torches as the full moon lit everything up. Unfortunately! If there is one main enemy of the night sky photographer, it’s a full moon. Disappointed that despite this being a dark sky spot, the full moon makes any decent star pictures impossible, as with a long exposure the sky becomes almost daylight. Instead, I made the most of it and made some shorter shots, making the most of the running water. Not what I had in mind but still happy with them. How can you be genuinely disappointed when you have nothing but water, the moon and the stars. Peaceful.

The next day an uneventful drive home, bar a patch of dense fog by Preston. I was home in just over 2 hours, feet up and back to daily life at home. The next day new tiers were announced and before long lockdown 3.0 began. I was grateful we managed to get away when we did, for all I know, it could be the last trip for a while.

Until next time!

Tony

Location: For the start of the walk head to the car park at St. Bees called St Bees Beach Front car park. Plenty of parking available for reasonable prices. Take in the climb or the flat gravel beach if the strenuous walk isn’t your thing! Satnav: Firth Dr, Saint Bees CA27 0EY

Walk: On a non-muddy day i’d say this was a light to moderate walk at 5 miles. However, beware of the deceptively steep at times rolling hills, very slippy underfoot so highly recommend walking boots and a pair of walking poles! If tides allow, make use of the inlet half way to explore the secluded beach.

A last minute escape to the wild North Cumbria Lakes: Part One – Ennerdale Water Hike

An escape out to the wild North Lake District National Park Part One blog: The hike of Ennerdale Water

I’m not the first person to state the obvious, but, 2020 has been anything but ordinary. I tried to pen my yearly review of the year but got halfway through and got depressed (I may finish it at a later date). Spending most of the year in some form of lockdown has meant an unprecedented year for me of no travel.

At the tender age of just 3 weeks old, I was on a plane to another country and ever since then, I’ve been on a plane somewhere every year for 27 years. Until this year, my 28th year confined to the boundaries of my own country, what a drag. Since day one, travelling has been in my blood, 2018 was an amazing year of travel with 12 destinations in 12 months, including stops in Europe , Iceland, and Canada. Last year, 2019, was a lite year of travel, spending it in various UK destinations and of course, the wonderful Italian Lakes trip for the Italian GP. A sacrifice of travel while finishing off my PhD with the specific plan that 2020 I’d be back to plenty of travel. I had road trips planned to see friends all over the country, I had flights booked for Croatia, then Iceland and also to Canada to see family again. Instead, I went absolutely nowhere. No planes, no overnight stays, nothing. An overused word this year but it really was unprecedented.

The travel bans forced me into appreciating the beauty and hidden gems in my local area. They allowed me to take day trips to the lakes, which was fun, especially when the summer lockdowns were relaxed enough for Laura to come stay for a few days. We had a few trips to the Lakes and other places. Yet, nothing replaces being away for more than a day. Luckily, for my Dad’s 60th he wanted to get away and with Liverpool and Cumbria seemingly the only counties left in Tier 2, we were fortunate to spend a few nights away in the wild North Lakes.

I was happy to get away, the tier changes mercifully not changing for either of us the night before we left (I couldn’t have handled another last-minute cancellation!). I needed to get away too, this year has been challenging, work has been beyond stressful this year, and the pressure has been constant. This was my first break away from work for more than two days since May. My soul had been battered by stress and strain of work and general crapness of 2020. It needed a recharge. https://thedayinthelifeoftonycliffe.com/2020/07/28/100-days-of-my-lockdown-journey/

Day One:

Driving up the Lake District I’ve always enjoyed, I adore motorway driving, even more so solo driving. Nothing but your music, a terrible singing voice and the views to pass the time. I headed up a few hours before the family so I could start walking straight away, as we couldn’t get the keys to the Air BnB cottage until 4 p.m. The drive up was fine until I passed Lancaster and as the M6 snaked it’s way up the mountains, so did the weather. One minute the snow-capped peaks peered below the low clouds, the next driving hail and snow reduced the visibility to near zero. For the final 1hr 30 of the 2hr 30 drive was in constant gripping of the steering wheel in horrendous conditions.

Thankfully, the weather abated for a time to allow me to navigate the single track, narrow twisty icy roads of North Cumbria. I eventually arrived at Ennerdale Water, the furthest north lake of the Lake District National park. Up this far, is a world away from the tourist and commercialised South Lakes, you won’t find any pleasure boats, trinket shops or tourists up here. Just pure scenery and weather-worn hikers up in these parts. In fact, Ennerdale is the only Lake in the national park that doesn’t have a road around it, giving you a sense of its remoteness.

Stepping out of my car onto the small free gravel car park, the icy wind was enough to waken any tiredness away from the drive. Lacing up my old trusty walking boots and setting my walking poles to length, I regretted not putting my thermal walking trousers on instead opting for my normal ones. A mental note was made to not make that mistake tomorrow! Walking through the path away from the car park, the trees gave way to reveal the snow-capped peaks of Ennerdale Valley. Whitecaps seemingly blending into to browns and greens with the roar of a rushing waterfall, a white raging streak down the side of the mountain as another band of sleet and snow made the peak disappear before reappearing again, adding more intensity to the waterfall.

I watched as the light changed almost minute by minute, storm clouds enclosed and visibility dropped, swirling, tossing and tumbling before releasing the mountain from its grip.

The view was breathtaking, as was the real feel of -8c wind that rattled down the side of the valley as I got closer to the Lake. Tomorrow I was to walk the Lake’s entirety, but for now, I planned to make the most of the awful weather to get some pictures of the Lake. With snow showers raging and then stopping as if on a switch, I watched as the light changed almost minute by minute, storm clouds enclosed and visibility dropped, swirling, tossing and tumbling before releasing the mountain from its grip. Each time I felt I had enough of the frozen fingers, the light or the clouds would change and entice me in to stay a little longer to capture its beauty. In the whole few hours I was there, I saw only four people. The harsh weather only added to its remoteness. It felt very much like being in Iceland, let alone England.

Ennerdale Water at sunset

With the light fading quickly this far north and news of the cottage being open, I headed the short drive back to the welcome warm embrace of the Air BnB called The Heckbarley in Ennerdale Bridge. A quaint, quiet, small village surrounded by cows, a river, two pubs looked incredibly inviting, just a shame they weren’t open due to restrictions. The Air BnB was terrific, a large detached house, with plenty of bathrooms and bedrooms, with amazing views from sides of the house of the mountain, especially from the heated conservatory. I got the room with the two skylights, a double and a single. It was a shame that Emma wasn’t with us, Em had planned to come up with us for the few days but with a change in restrictions and not being in our bubble at the last minute she had to cancel. That’s three trips together this year were restrictions had changed last minute for us, Croatia, Iceland and now this! After food and planning the next day’s hike before I knew it, I was out like a light.

Day Two

The watery winter sun was lighting up the crisp azure morning sky as I made my lunch, finished off the rest of the toast and checked and double-checked all my gear. Poles, boots, thermals, buff, spare clothes and the hardest decision, what camera equipment to take. Hiking is challenging as it is, even tougher with heavy camera equipment. The tripod alone is weighty enough, add in the body, the lenses and it all adds up on your back! I decided to leave my heavy long lens in the cottage and leave my DJI Gimbal there too, opting for stills rather than video. If Em was with me, I’d have taken the gimbal but making videos just isn’t the same by yourself, plus every gram saved is a godsend on the mountain.

Before the Scramble up Angelers Crag

Today I set off to walk Ennerdale water, a 7-mile hike that included scrambling, river crossings and plenty of ice! The west side where I started, is the far more challenging side of the Lake, with little to no defined paths to follow. The paths being nothing more than trodden stones to navigate the way through scree and not to mention the giant peak that one must traverse. Either that or get your feet very wet! Whereas the East side of the Lake was a more gentle and flat gravel path, suitable for bikes and prams. I, of course, opted to tackle the more adventurous hiking route, the Westside first. It was -3c when I started my hike, not a breath of wind out, the sun beaming, my breath drifting effortlessly into the sky, the snowcapped peaks glistening in the sun with every crunch of my feet on the icy ground. It felt great to be hiking again, picking out places to put your feet, feeling your body warm-up with every touch, your soul drinking in the views as your body gulps in the cold air. The mountain path got significantly steeper, the path disappearing into an almost verticle rock face. Before tackling that section of anglers crag, I set up my camera gear to take some pictures.

After watching a few groups of avid hikers scramble up the cliff face ahead of me, I packed my gear away, my poles too, they’d be of little upon this steep terrain, took a deep breath and headed up the rock face. Scrambling is something I haven’t done for a while, for those who don’t know what that is, scrambling is a halfway crossover between hiking and rock climbing, where there is no defined path, so you have to use both your feet and hands In order to get up the mountain.

The view half way up
On the other side of the Scramble. Thankful for making it over the top in one piece!

I was very grateful for my time on the PhD with the Outdoor Education Students on their caving expedition field trips. I spent the day learning to scramble, free rock climb and caving. Those few hours in -5c in the snow in the Yorkshire dales, including scrambling up an actual waterfall was excellent training for this steep but short scramble up the Crag. Scrambling would be more straightforward if you didn’t have to wear size 12 hiking boots! I like the puzzle of finding places to wedge your feet and then finding obvious places to put your hand in the rocks to pull yourself up. Once again, thankful to have taken up Yoga and core strength training over lockdown, which proved vital to make the Crag easy work.

Dropping down from the Crag, the lake view opened up, and it was a stunning reward for the scramble’s hard, heavy work. Pushing further south to the end of the Lake was far more demanding than I anticipated. With constant scree, groundwater rushing out of the rocks, ice and slippy moss made slow work of my progress. I was thankful for having my walking pole with me, a few times my foot slipped out from underneath me on black ice on a rock, the poles saving me more than once from at best a broken arm, at worst, a cracked head or back. With no roads here or the fact I hadn’t seen anyone for over an hour, you’d be in a terrible spot for help if something happened in this remote location.

The remoteness had a charm to it, however. Not seeing anyone for an hour, no noise of cars, nothing but the lapping waves of the Lake and the still winter air. The world and all its covid chaos seemed a long way away. After pushing further down the Lake, jumping over rivers and through scrubland, nearly falling a few more times the land eventually got easier.

The scrub and rocks gave way to grass and frozen ground which allowed me to quicken up until disaster.

As ever on the mountain one lapse in concentration is all it takes to instantly change an enjoyable walk into a disaster. In an instant, my horizon tilted, cold, muddy peat water topped over the inside of my boot, I was up to my knee in a frozen peat bog, thankful for once again my walking sticks! The left one had caught a rock, and my brain in autopilot made sense of what was happening before I did, tensing the muscles in my core and the left arm, using all its strength to arrest the slide. My right stick stayed on frozen ground. With two heaves, my foot was released from the bog. I was uprightβ€”nothing but a soaking and cold leg and socks for my troubles, thankfully nothing broken. As I picked the path up again and crossed the top of the Lake, still cursing myself for being so careless to not notice I had wandered off track and how despite a now frozen foot, it could have been a lot worse.

At least the views helped!

View at the South end of the Lake

Now on the Lake’s Eastside, a well-placed path used by a logging company made things far easier and quicker. This side of the Lake was far busier, with walkers making the most of the far flatter and more straightforward path. I felt accomplished that I’d done the hard way! Passing through forests that ran through the East side of the Lake, another sharp climb up before veering off the road, back onto a scramble down a peak to pick up the less worn trail at the shore of the Lake. People choose to stick to the road/path that goes inland before joining the shore further up, but I wanted to walk the Lake as it was intended. After just over 3 hours later, I was back at the car, alive, thankful and while tired, full of life of what had been an excellent hike indeed!

Places to stay:

Few Air BnBs in Ennerdale to use, however, you’re 30 minutes drive from Kendal to the East or 30 minutes away from Whitehaven and Cockermouth in the West.

Location:

Head to Bleach Green Car park (free 24 hour car park) in Ennerdale, roughly 2 hours 30 minutes from Liverpool. Careful of the untreated narrow and steep roads on the approach to Ennerdale and the Lake, take it easy!

Route:

7 mile walk start at the car park and go over the bridge and turn right at the weir. Follow the unmarked path south along the lake, you can’t miss Anglers crag (it’s huge!). If you want a shorter and easier route, turn left at the bridge and follow the marked gravel path around the Eastside of the lake.

Places to visit:

Ennerdale water of course! But also visit the Stone circles just north of Ennerdale.

END OF PART ONE

Lake Como and Monza Part 1

With the August rain hammering against the steamed windows of the local coffee shop, and in between the clinks and whoosh of cups and espresso machines I sat down for a long overdue catch up with my good friend Shaun. Shaun, I’ve known since High School and since we left that place many years ago we’ve always stayed in touch and our social meetups often involved two wheels. We’d cycled over Ireland together, the Isle of Man and would spend most weekends in a variety of weather, laughing and joking on our cycle rides. Yet, this was the first time in a year I’d seen him! Busy work commitments, my focus on finishing my PhD and a series of injuries this year meant neither of us had ventured out onto our bikes in a year, and our usual rides and catch-ups had been absent, except for the odd message here and there.

It was good to catch up, we had a lot to catch up on! Towards the end as the last drops of coffee dripped down the side of the cup, he asks β€œFancy doing the Italian Grand Prix in a few weeks time, mate?”. Within 24 hours and many phone calls and messages later, flights, tickets, apartment were booked, and a rough itinerary agreed. We were off to Monza!

Monza is an iconic grand Prix, in fact, it’s the fastest Formula One GP on the calendar. One of the iconic historic tracks, along with Silverstone. I hadn’t made an F1 trip for a few years, I’ve spent many a coin in Silverstone and even abroad to Valencia for the now-defunct European GP race with my Bro Luke. A trip I remember fondly, having a holiday based around an F1 race is undoubtedly a good excuse as any to getaway! Truth be told, I needed the break. Since finishing the PhD I haven’t actually been away anywhere, and Italy was a place, despite my many travels, I hadn’t been to. Add to the fact that I hadn’t been away at all in 2019 (which for me is shocking! In 2017 I went away for a week or more every month, including Iceland and Canada and in 2018 another busy travel year with the highlights being Croatia, Switzerland and Norway) so I was desperate to get travelling again.

We agreed that we’d base ourselves out of the more expensive Lake Como (a place that is consistently on travel sites as the must-visit places in Italy) rather than the cheaper Bergamo, for a few logistical reasons. The flights were sold out on the Friday and the Monday to and from Milan in Manchester, with to my surprise, Ryanair being the only one to offer a daily flight to Milan from the North West. With Ryanair being Ryanair, their airport called Milan isn’t actually in Milan at all but situated in a town called Bergamo, an hours drive from Milan! So that meant a Thursday to Tuesday trip, five days we agreed in Bergamo was a bit too much. As pretty as Bergamo looked, five days would be a tall order, despite how cheap it was, i.e. Β£100 each for five nights! Also, to get to Monza, we’d have to get a 40-minute train into Milan and then another 40-minute train to Monza, with everyone else. Which would be chaos, especially after the race with everyone else heading to Milan. A bit of research and Como would be an hours drive to Milan from Bergamo and then a 40-minute train to Como. To get to Monza would only be a 20-minute train each day, going against the flow of everyone else. So we decided on that, plus Como has a hell of a lot more to do!

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Ready for Italy!

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With an 8 a.m. flight, we were off to Europe after a godawful .4 a.m. start and drive to Manchester (thanks for the lift as always to the legend that is my Dad!). Manchester is still a lousy airport to travel through, but it was for once, rather painless. We did laugh as we boarded the priority queue with every else on the plane doing the same, only 4 people were not priority! It was something out of a Come Fly With Me sketch! After an hours sleep on the plane, I woke up as we were flying over Switzerland, the blue lakes and Alps reaching up towards us through the clouds. As we descended further, we flew into Italy, across the sprawling Lake Como, over the airport before hooking left onto the approach. There is a joke in the Aviation Community about Ryanair pilots being Carrier pilots, along with plenty of youtube compilation clips. On arrival, we hit the runway so hard I thought the struts were going to erupt through the wings. Brutal.

On landing, however, is one of life’s best moments, that blast of heat and sun as you walk outside of the plane. That sure-fire sign that you’re finally on holiday! We had left 9c and arrived in 26c and blue skies, the alps glimmering in the distance. Yaas! We were off the plane and through immigration and waiting for our bag all within 5 minutes. Why any Brexiteer wants to stand in a non-Eu Queue for years is beyond me, but then again I guess they wouldn’t holiday in Europe would they? That would be a bit hypocritical! After getting our bags, we walked out of the busy terminal and into the simmering sun to find a bus. To get to Como, we had to get into Milan’s central train station and then catch a train to Switzerland which stopped at Como, the final stop before the border. Lucky, despite Bergamo being an hours drive from Milan, all the other low-cost airlines use Milan-Bergamo airport and therefore there is no shortage of bus companies offering one-way tickets between the airport and Milan station for between 5 and 8 euros.

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Next stop, Lake Como

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We were ushered onto a coach by an Italian Will.i.am including glasses and jaunty hat, paid him our 7 euros and basked in the relief from the sun in the air-conditioned cabin. The hour drive on the motorway and through villages was an excellent way to appreciate some of the countryside. However, what was a shock to both Shaun and me is how utterly terrible Milan looks. I expected Milan to be a beautiful Italian city, in reality, it gave off the vibe of an old eastern bloc town. It looked incredibly rundown, litter everywhere and most surprisingly, every building and sign had graffiti on it. Every. Single. One! Outside of the station as we got off the coach, with 60s prefab office buildings with a broken window and a scruffy park with beggars in it. Wow. This was not what I was expecting. I am sure there are parts of Milan which are beautiful, but the first impressions were less than impressive. We scurried inside of the mayhem of Milan central station. A huge station with over 28 platforms on numerous levels, going all over Italy and into Switerzland and France. After struggling to find our train and using Google translate we eventually bought our ticket, a whole 3.20 euro! Train travel is dirt cheap here! We spent ages trying to find our train, my go-to Google Maps had a train leaving, but the final destination was not the one on the board. In the end, we asked someone which train for Como. “Platform 5. Run”. We were at this point, on Platform 23 and the train was leaving in 5 minutes. We walked or maybe jogged with our rattling suitcases behind us, dodging the hoards of people. We managed to just bundle ourselves onto the train before it moved off Northwards towards Switzerland. Dripping in sweat but we made it!

As we rattled northwards, swaying in the aisles and being incredibly hot, an English family sitting down next to us asked us if we were off to Monza. We were indeed! We had a great chat as we heading through the Italian countryside. They were staying in Milan and were getting off at Monza to work out how long it would take over the next three days, they were sitting in the expensive seats in the Parabolica whereas Shaun and I were doing the far cheaper option of General Admission (Β£450 vs Β£98). We pulled up eventually into Monza station, bid farewell to them and then quickly took their seats (weirdly enough we’d bump into them again on race day!).

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After 40 minutes on the train, next stop Como Giaovani station pinged on the tannoy. Como came into view, the coloured buildings clinging to the mountainside, the glimmering lake, the sprawling city below. We had finally arrived!

Exiting the station I phoned the number I was given for our apartment, through broken English and my poor Italian we managed to work out that we’d both arrive in 20 minutes or so. With the phone away, we set off through the town to the apartment on the other side of this lavish place. It had started to cloud over slightly, high wispy clouds increasing the humidity making the 26c heat uncomfortable, especially in jeans, a backpack and lugging a suitcase around. Instantly, the vibe of Como was a world away from Milan. Clean ancient buildings, tree-lined narrow cobbled streets, architecture wherever you looked. Stunning. We weaved in and out of small narrow roads, the buildings close in each decorated with sprawling, green ivy or flower boxes, the different coloured wooden shutters adorning the windows.

Cafes tumbled out into the street, clinks of glasses, laughter and hurried waiters taking orders drifted through the air. Turn another corner, and a square so often found in Europe comes into view. Grand buildings, the hustle and bustle, more cafes. Exiting the square back through more narrow streets, a man with a pin-sharp suit races past on a vesper, followed by a woman on a pushbike with a basket on the front. Stops and enters one of the grocery stores with bright coloured fruit and veg that formed a mountain inside the crates that were stacked against the shop. The smell enticing you in. Another turn, another square, a gigantic cathedral, comes into view. Impressive. Everything about this place was impressive. Another glance at Google Maps, not far to go. A jaunt across the train tracks and taking our life into our hands crossing the main busy road in Como and we arrived outside of our apartment block.

There wasn’t much for us to do except wait for whoever it was to turn up. An odd thing staying in apartments when you’re on holiday, you’re relying on a complete stranger. You don’t know who they are, what they look like, will they murder you or not? I assumed by the 8.6 ratings on Booking.com that I wasn’t going to be killed, but you never know. While we did wait, I gasped in glee as an old Lancia Abarth roared past me. A true iconic Italian rally car. You couldn’t get any more Italian of seeing a Lancia, in Como. All that was missing was the tune of On Days Like These by Matt Monroe. We got a real feel for the “don’t drive in Italy” message that so many people go on about. They go on about it because they’re batshit crazy drivers. We watched in amazement and horror of Fiat 500’s shifting down gears and darting in and out of traffic to make places up. Scrambler bikes and mopeds weaved in and out, overtaking, undertaking, traffic lights being a suggestion rather than a rule. Ferrari, Lamborghini, Maseratti, supercar after supercar, their roaring engines echoing off the walls. This place was crazy!

The latter shouldn’t have surprised me much, this place is the go-to summer getaway for the rich. In fact, not only is it one of the most expensive real estate places in Italy but the entire world! The who’s who of people have homes here. I can see why. The lake takes 2 hours by boat end to end, and if it was anything like the bottom, Como, then I can totally see why the rich choose to have their fancy villas dotted all along this gigantic lake. If you could afford to, why would you not? We were eventually greeted by two young students, whether they owned this place or worked for some rich guy who did I don’t know but after showing us around and signing a few papers over we got our keys to a fabulous apartment. Two beds, a kitchen and an unbelievable view outside of our first-floor balcony. Oh, how we’d make us of that this trip!

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Apartment balcony views!

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A quick unpack and we headed out to stock up the fridge with food and beer, mostly beer. I had fallen in love with this place already, it was everything I hoped Lake Como would be. Grand, luxurious, charming but stunningly beautiful. Italian architecture at it’s best. Wow, it felt good to be on my travels again! We took a walk down to the lake first, amazed by the view and how James Bond it all felt as a private Sea Plane took off from a villa and made its way skyward. This is the life! Before stepping into the supermarket, we took a little stop in one of the many cafes in this town, enjoying the warmth and the local beer. I tell you that went down a treat in that heat!

After spending our time browsing inside and then exiting the supermarket, I commented to Shaun how dark it suddenly felt. Those of you who know me know I do a lot of weather stuff, particularly storms and oh boy my storm senses were tingling. In the relatively short space of time the clouds had rolled in, the sun no longer visible, the still air now slowly increasing in speed with a coolness to it. The rain was coming, but the sky always has that look, those telltale signs of instability in the atmosphere. “I reckon it’s going to thunder soon, mate. I have a feeling this place is going to blow in a big way”. Shaun probably thought I was a bit dramatic, to him yeah it had slowly clouded over, but there were no black clouds on the horizon, the wind was gentle if not cooling, but it wasΒ  ..6 p.m. now, of course, it would be cool. What is Tony going on about!?

We got back to the room and relaxed for a bit before setting about making our tea. To which we realised that we didn’t actually buy any oil for the frying pan, so tea was out of the question. Doh! Annoyingly when the apartment said Kitchen I expected the usual, fridge, sink, hob and oven but it had everything bar an oven or a grill, the only cooking appliance being a hob. A culinary challenge that would turn out to be to create a few hob only dishes! “Fuck. We forgot the oil!” … “ha! Shall we go for that classic Italian dish? McDonald’s?” “Yeah! Why not, we’ll cook tomorrow!”

We ventured back into Como and found a McDonalds, which was the grandest McDonalds I had ever stepped foot in! Using the self-service machine, I browsed the menu. Italian Mcies is far superior, loads more choice, including loaded fries and instead of water or coke, you could order beer! What!? A large chicken nugget meal and hamburger for me for similar prices here. The only problem with self-service is you better hope you know that languages numbers when they call them. We didn’t, so we hung around the front of the service area, and when they shouted if no one claimed it, it was probably ours. We gingerly showed our ticket each time; eventually, I got mine and then Shaun got his Grand Mac which was huge! We step outside, and suddenly all hell was breaking loose. I was right, a storm was brewing and it was close! Everyone else had started to make their way indoors while us typical brits sat outside as the rain began to fall, lightning forked across the sky in the distant alps, the claps of thunder rattling the old town and the wind howled.

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Lightning!

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I love thunder and lightning storms, I absolutely adore them, but I respect them. Sitting outside in what was quickly becoming one of the most intense lightning storms I had ever witnessed was not our best idea. I promptly ate mine, fighting to stop my fries being launched into the wind. Another clap and flash of thunder, closer, much much closer than before. Over the roar of the wind β€œHow much you got left to eat mate?” I enquire, as another crack of thunder this time overhead. “Errrm, still my grand mac mate!”. We both burst into laughter. He hadn’t even touched his grand mac yet! Whether it was the fear of being killed in one of the most intense lightning storms this place has ever seen, I don’t know, but we laughed about that for ages. How he ate that and didn’t throw up from laughing, I’ll never know. Another rip in the air. It really was time to go. We walked back to the apartment, opened a few cans of beer and watched as the heavens indeed opened and one of the most magnificent, awe-inspiring and frightening thunder and lightning storms light up the ever-darkening sky. We sat in the safety of the balcony watching constant flashes of lightning, a frequency I had never experienced before, forking across the sky, waves of rain, rivers running in the streets.

We stayed outside for hours as the storm got more and more intense, daytime turned to night, not that we noticed much as the flashes continued to go off, the wind continued to gust and howl in the powerful downdrafts of the supercell. But watching nature at her most beautiful and most potent while looking out at a lit-up cathedral with a beer in hand was actually a pretty sweet way to end our first day in Como.

By timeΒ  ..11 p.m. came, with the storm finally showing signs of moving away in the distance, we called it quits. Shut the balcony up and got into bed. Little did we know, however, that the storm we had just witnessed was an appetiser, to the real storm that was just behind it. It would make itself known in the early hours of the morning, in a massive way!

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Part 2 soon!

Autumn is around the corner. My four likes and dislikes of this season.

The nights are now getting longer, and thus, the days are shorter. There is a noticeable coolness to the winds that flow in off the Atlantic now, the first detectable signs of change in the colours of the leaves. Autumn is just around the corner.

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For some, autumn brings people joy and cheer, a change in the season, those turning colours of the leaves a welcome sign to usher in the colder weather as a respite from the summer. Not that we’ve had a particularly good end to the summer! It’s felt more autumnal in August this year than it does in November! Autumn, or fall, if you like saying words wrong, if I had to rank it, I’d place it at number 3 on my list. Spring is by far my favourite season when everything is warming up, nature is coming alive, and there is an excitement for the summer ahead, the longer days, the hot weather, and days out in the sun. Beautiful! Autumn, however, don’t get me wrong has its perks, way more than winter does (god I hate winter!) but it’s not as good as spring or summer. So, before you can say pumpkin spice latte, autumn will be here. So here are my four not so favourite things about this season and my, to its credit, four things I do like about this season.

Dislikes

I’m aware that many of my dislikes for autumn are probably some of your favourite things about it. You’re wrong, but that’s fine, I can live with that. Oddly, some of my dislikes have an alter ego side to them and form the basis of some of my likes for this season. All will become clear, I promise!

  1. The Long Nights and the Weather

In at number one is my number one dislike of autumn. The shorter days and long nights. It does my Seasonal Affective Disorder no good at all! The long days of summer, I pine for, the bright blue azure skies and the twilight of what little darkness hours exist in the summer. Autumn that all changes. You get up in the dark and by the time you get home from work, it’s nearly dark. It makes me feel like I’m trapped in a lightless cardboard box. Grim. I’m the type of person who runs hot to touch, which means I always feel cold, so I dread the colder weather coming in. At least now I don’t look out of place wearing jumpers and gilets, so silver lining I guess! I love the weather, but I suppose you might have already figured that out if my social media posts are anything to go by. Sure, I love storms they’re exciting, especially thunderstorms but in autumn the heat and the energy in the atmosphere dissipates, the high pressure forms low pressure and we go from clear blue skies to occasional epic thunderstorms, to an endless conveyor belt off of the Atlantic of cold wind, torrential rain, and endless days of cloud. If you’re lucky it might be spiced up with some fog or as they say in Newfoundland, Canada, you’re blessed with a million-dollar day. Which basically means it’s a blessing when you get a sunny day.

Wind and endless rain and no blue skies makes S.A.D. worse. How anyone can enjoy cold, wet and grey weather is beyond me, I think you need to be sectioned. There is nothing fun about it at all, and I cannot fathom why anyone prefers that over warm blue skies!

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Sunset and raindrops

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  1. Everything is a variety of Pumpkin

I get it, a critical autumnal event is Halloween and the tradition of pumpkin picking and carving is I admit, a fun thing to do. Pumpkins are there to be carved, have a candle shoved inside of it for one night and then disposed of into the compost heap because that’s where these weird orange balls deserve to be. They smell horrific when you’re carving them, and they taste as good as they smell. Awful. In recent years and I can only imagine this is the U.K.’s attempt to become more mainstream America (we have kids graduating with cap and gowns now from Nursery now, so why the hell not, next we’ll be buying guns in our supermarkets and blaming video games for mass shootings) that autumn signals retailers to add Pumpkin Spice to ordinary things. Pumpkin does not belong in coffee, how dare you tarnish the wonders of that beautiful hot bean juice with that filth! A delicious blueberry muffin is replaced by a Pumpkin Muffin. Candles are sprinkled with Pumpkin spice, Pumpkin bread, Pumpkin, Pumpkin, Pumpkin! I don’t actually think anyone actually enjoys a Pumpkin spiced anything, they just say they do to look like they’re cool Autumn Hipsters. Sorry, I feel I may have needed to get that off my chest.

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Cliffe pumpkins

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  1. Excuses for public transport

Granted, hopefully, this year now that I’ve passed my test and will have a car that this won’t be such a bugbear of mine, but as the seasons change, I can hear that big fat book of public transport excuses opening with a thud. Autumn brings in the wonderful excuses for those who operate public transport, (not naming names or pointing the finger here, well known North West train company *cough*) to cover up for their lack of service providing.Β  “What shall it be today, John? The 16.45 is cancelled because we forgot to staff it”… “Meh. Autumn? Oh yeah! Leaves on the line! Remember, it’s the wrong type of leaves! Don’t forget to tell the passengers that!”

β€œSo this week we’ve had, the wrong rain, the wrong ice, the wrong wind, the wrong frost and now the wrong leaves? They suspect nothing!”

Autumn just gives people an excuse to cancel things, cancel plans and gives everyone the perfect excuse, just blame it on the weather!

  1. The changing of the leaves

Number four is one of my likes for a different reason, but here I will address why I dislike it. I hate it because I find it so incredibly sad! Spring and summer are so full of life and autumn is a swan song for all the plants and animals. Some creatures only survive the summer before dying, and the leaves on those big old mighty Oak show off with their most dazzling and spectacular colours, all that pizazz just before they lose it all.

One reason I absolutely despise winter is that everything is so bare and dead. Lifeless trees, lifeless light and gloomy clouds. Eugh! I just always feel despondent in autumn when the leaves change, the exotic birds fly back home leaving our shores, and bird song which is so loud in summer is replaced by the odd chirp here and there. Depressing!

Likes

Admittedly, those four dislikes above used to be a lot more, but as I’ve grown older while autumn will always remain firmly in 3rd place, I have grown fonder over the years of it. So, here are some of my most liked things about the season.

  1. Photography

Mirror of the lake

A passion of mine is photography and autumn to me, is the best time of the year for it. Sure, summer you can get out more to photograph things, but often it’s the wrong type of light. Summer sun can often be too bright, too harsh, which ruins your contrasts in shots and it has a cool feeling to it. Plus, landscapes are often very monochromatic, they’re just blue and then bright green for the leaves. Autumn is full of colour, the sky changes to a different blue, the green of the trees changes to deep reds, oranges, purples and pinks and the light is softer. It gives a photographer a treasure trove of photographic opportunities.

Sunrise on the canal

I love autumn for the colours it gives you, while it does make me sad I take comfort in capturing natures beauty before it goes super bland in winter.

Fisherman on the Leeds Liverpool Canal

  1. The Sunsets and the night sky

In a similar vein to Number one, my favourite time of day is twilight, always has been. There is something extraordinary about everything being backlit and silhouetted against the sky. In autumn, twilight gets dragged out as the angle of the sun gets lower, and due to this, before nightfall in autumn often offers up the most spectacular of sunsets and sunrises. With colder, denser air and the low angle of the sun, more light rays get scattered, giving me one of my favourite sights, Mother Nature, at her most glorious. Autumn offers up the most amazing colours you could ever see in the sky, and that makes me happy! Long after the sun is set, the night sky often has a deep soft glow to it before turning purple and then black. Stunning.

Those of you know me well know that a big passion of mine is Astrophotography. Astrophotography for me starts to come into its own in autumn. Yes, technically winter is the most perfect time for it due to it being the clearest of skies in the atmosphere and the most exciting in terms of what to see, at least autumn offers some form of warmth. I can spend a good few hours outside in the autumn photographing the stars compared to maybe an hour or so in the winter.

Norwegian Winters night in the forest

In summer, there is often too much haze for clear night sky photography, not to mention that this far north that you may not know this, but in Liverpool, we don’t officially have night time from about Mid-June till September.

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We stay in Nautical and Astronomical Twilight, so it’s often not dark enough to photograph stars. While it may seem dark outside to you, the camera still looks like it’s almost day time. So hurray for night time, never hear me say that again in any other context!

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Caught a satellite tonight!

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  1. The Cosy Feeling, cold weather and warm jumpers

The weather, oh, we’ve been here before, right? Obsession alert! While often the weather is pants in autumn, it does usually offer up some of the clearest and bluest of skies. Not to mention those sunsets and star-studded skies I love so much. But, there is also something incredibly cosy and special about autumn that, as I’ve got older, I’ve grown to look forward to. While nothing will ever replace the feeling of warm sunshine and wind on my skin, I love wearing shorts and t-shirts! I must admit that I secretly look forward to wearing chunky knit jumpers again. I love wearing big thick boots, warm jeans, gloves, scarfs, mix and matching many blazers and coats in an outfit and above all, the cosiness of a beanie hat.

Plus, it’s the perfect excuse for me to go full Geographer and wear boots, fleece lined walking pants and various fleeces and waterproofs. Yes! Love the adventurer look!

There is something special about that nip in the air, that cold that stings your cheeks when you get inside, the smell of the fire crackling or the warm caress of the heating, the crunch of the frost underfoot and that no better feeling of when it is frosty outside or the wind and rain is howling against your window, and you look outside from the warmth of your bed. Bliss!

There is something also about autumn that brings the kid out in you. Piles of leaves on the floor are impossible not to kick, pumpkins have to be picked, and fireworks set off. Autumn still awakens that little kid in me, the one who knows that just around the corner is winter and winter means Christmas. Yay! Autumn is super cosy.

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Crunch of the frost

  1. The food

With colder weather means a better appetite. Throw out those salads because you no longer need a beach-ready body, you need a hibernation ready body! Jumpers and thick coats hide a multitude of sins and food is just way better in autumn and winter.

When it’s too hot, you turn your back on cosy and comforting foods for salads, B.B.Q.s and vegetables. In winter, there is nothing more comforting than a giant bowl of chunky soup and crusty bread to dip into it. Hearty meals like scouse, stew and pies become the go-to on a cold day. Drinks all suddenly appear to be mulled, and I get to drink my favourite autumn/winter drink, Hot Ribena.

Yaaaas! I’m ready for it! While summer isn’t over yet (did it ever really start? Am I right?!) There will still be the occasional hot spell for us to enjoy, but the inevitable is just around the corner. Autumn is nearly here, the long nights, the pumpkin spice and the big coat season is fast upon us!

Is Autumn your favourite season or is it your worst? Let me know in the comments and why!

 

My dedication to the inner circle!

I wrote a blog many years ago, which just happened to be one of my all-time favourite pieces I’ve ever written. It was an in-depth look into how females and particularly female best friends have had such a profound impact on my life and the person I am today. It was at the time one of my most-read posts, and it’s those kinds of dedication blogs that I rarely write, but when I do, I absolutely love it. I’m pretty terrible at telling someone how I feel in person, but I can express it and immortalise my respect, gratitude and love to them through the written word.

Unfortunately, I no longer have a copy of that blog. That old blog site was closed down without warning years ago (thankfully paying for this blog I have the peace of mind that these blogs will stay!) and I’ve long since got rid of that PC. I contemplated rewriting that for this post but take note Disney, that a well-received classic should never be remade, ever! No matter how hard you try, it will never compare to the standard or the heart of the original.

I think I signed off one of my recent blogs talking about how I am a wealthy individual, not in terms of monetary value but in terms of the company that I keep. I’m big enough, ugly enough, and wise enough to know that I’m not the easiest person to have as a friend. I’m always on the go, I demand the best from myself every day, and therefore I’m pushy and demanding of you to be the best that you can be. I can be direct and brutally honest at times…okay, all of the time. Where friends often use little white lies or disguise their disagreement with their friend’s actions to make their friend happy, that doesn’t happen with me. If you ask me my opinion on something, I’ll tell you even if you don’t like my answer. I can be incredibly stubborn at times and set in my ways. What you see with me is what you get, that honesty and black and white stance on things some people can’t handle. They prefer to be pampered or only have their own thoughts validated. So those who have stuck around first and foremost, thank you! I probably come across as a right twat don’t I? But despite those flaws, I do like to think that I am one of the most loyal, dedicated, protective and loving person to those few who I do let in.

I have many good friends, I have close friends, and I have a group of friends who sit in the inner circle. Those who over time their friendship has never faulted or waivered. These beautiful individuals all enhance my life greatly in a variety of ways, each one of them incredibly unique, each one my life would be decidedly empty and less fulfilling if they were not in it. There are many people close to me that I could and should thank (so please don’t be offended if you’re not in this blog! You don’t mean any less to me than these people!!) but I thought it would be nice to give my gratitude and thanks to those who’ve been through it all. They say that those who have been friends for between 7 and 9 years become friends for life. Thus, I think that’s a good cut off point for this blog because it just so happens that those who I’ve been friends with the longest just so happen to be those inner circle of people.

When I say inner circle it does sound a bit cultish or an elitist club, right? But that’s not really what I mean, the inner circle is simply a designator for those who I have no walls up for, for who know my many flaws and accept them, who know my hopes, dreams and desires and who knows my darkest secrets. I trust these individuals with my life, they have shown complete loyalty and dedication through the good times, but more importantly throughout the years and the hard times, they’ve never shone away from standing by me, either picking up a sword to fight alongside me or holding an umbrella up while I weather a raging storm. Some people rely upon and put all of their eggs into only one person, usually a boyfriend or girlfriend, at the expense of their friends. Me, well I much prefer diversity and a well-oiled machine around me, a team. Each one of these people is vastly different and all the better for it. So, without further exposition, let’s get into it!

Luke:

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My bro!

Holds the honour as one of the only males to make it into the inner circle! Luke isn’t a friend but is instead, an adopted big brother that I never had. We’re not friends, we’re Bros! My parents simply refer to him as “second son”. I’ve known Luke for what feels like a lifetime, we’ve practically grown up together. For context, Luke is a couple of years older than me and was my sister’s friend in high school. He popped round for tea one day and we got on really well, except our first conversation was an argument! An argument about the position of the vertical stabiliser on an F-18 vs an F-15. Nerdy or what but as a fellow avgeek we knew we’d be friends! From then practically every day during the summer holidays and weekends we’d spend together, climbing trees, buildings go-karts, fighting side by side in the infamous Hunt Road waterfight wars and generally just being lads!

As we got older, Luke was always the big brother I never had. Always there for me, protecting me, looking out for me, guiding me, and always on point with his advice. On paper, we’re vastly different people. Luke is athletic, outgoing, loud, a doer, incredibly funny and someone more of a risk-taker. Me I’m not athletic, not that adventurous, I’m more of a person to write the manual than actually to do it, and I’m risk-averse. Yet, it works! One thing i’ve learnt is to never play sports with Luke, he has an uncanny knack of using whatever sporting instrument be that a cricket ball or an air hockey puck, and getting a direct ‘accidental’ hit in my nuts. Bastard! We get on so well together, and my life would be completely different if I didn’t have my Bro in my life. Kudos to Amy, his beautiful wife, who still allows him to disappear every other Saturday so we can still hang out for a few hours!

Luke forces me to go out of my comfort zone, to be more adventurous and more outgoing. I can’t thank him enough for all of the times he’s been there for me through the good times but especially the dedication and encouragement through the bad times. Just an example of the kinda standup bloke he is, when I did go through that awful breakup, he left work early that day to hang out and take my mind off it and kept coming up with random things to do on weekends to keep me occupied until I was back on my feet. A true genuine legend. A true brother. I love you, Bro! Every guy needs a true bro, and I’m so very thankful that it’s you!

Chloe:

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My fav spud

Chloe or more accurately Spudette (I’m referred to as Spud!) has been one of my rocks and a pillar in my life. I met Chloe properly during our first year residential trip to Slapton and boy am I glad we did! From the early days of ripping each other for our accents, in scouse i say graph like it ends in a F whereas Chloe would say it as if it had too many A’s! Teaching her to say purple in scouse is still one of my personal highlights! Common vs Posh English!Β For eight years, I don’t think we’ve ever stopped laughing since!Β Chloe is one of the most beautiful people I know, not just in terms of looks (like all my female friends, they’re absolute babes!) but in terms of personality. I’ve never met someone who is as dedicated, loyal, caring and kind-hearted as Chloe. Not just towards me but everyone in her life, we all need a person like Chloe in our lives! From day one, we struck up a fantastic rapport, and from day one, I’ve always felt that no matter what, Chloe has my back. Chloe is the first person I turn to in a crisis or when a significant decision needs to be made. I often rarely ask for advice or seek council because I think I can do everything myself ( I can be pigheaded that way!), but any big decision gets run past her because she has such clarity and my best interests at heart that I value her advice and opinion so highly.

I recall spending hours at the river in Chester us both discussing what I should do, take the job in Nottingham, a Β£27,000 three year contract job or to stay in Chester and become a research assistant for Β£16,000 on a temporary year contract. I had conflicting thoughts, the logical rational me was a no doubt to take the Nottingham consultancy job. Yet the emotional me knew my heart was in research, so I wanted the Chester one, but that was an irrational and illogical choice. My Dad was pushing for me to take the Nottingham job, my Mum was pushing for the Chester one. Confusion and confliction everywhere. Everywhere until Chloe and I met up, finally, clarity. The weird thing about Chloe is there is a calmness that I don’t get with anyone else, she just gets it! At the end of the day, I took the illogical and irrational decision to take the Chester job. A decision I have never regretted! Thank you, Chloe!

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I’m not a religious person or that spiritual, but I do believe in the Universe, and it’s little nuances. I read many years ago about each of us have three assigned people, a soul mate (in the romantic sense), a soul mate (in terms of platonic love) and a Guardian/Protector. They can be one individual who is all three, or they could be three separate people. I’ve always thought since the day I met Chloe that she is the platonic soul mate and quite possibly the protector. There has always been an energy that we were meant to be best friends, from day one, it’s always been easy! I adore being in her company, and even though she now lives on the other side of the planet, our friendship is as strong as ever. I wrote a fun blog years ago about what the perfect woman would be like, Chloe’s personality formed a basis for comparison in terms of traits. An incredibly loyal, smart, dedicated, caring and super-intelligent woman! I love you Spudette, thanks for always saying the right things and always without hesitation, having my back. I so appreciate that, and I’m thankful that you’re apart of my life!

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Emma:

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My sister from another Mr!

If Luke is my Bro, then Emma is my sister from another Mr While I have a wonderful if not infuriating at times actual blood related older Sister, I’ve always seen Emma as a sister of my own age. A sister that I can talk to about everything, you know the things that you’d never really want to discuss with your family haha! When friends progress past friendship and enter the family tier, you know you have a friend for life. I’ve known Emma since year 9, so we’re looking at around 13 years! I think its testament to our friendship that in those many years, we’ve changed so much as individuals, we’ve both gone through so much and yet the bond between us has never faulted or waivered. Emma really is a friend for life. If you had to define what a true friend looked and acted like, you’d be hard-pressed to find a better example than Em!

You might be starting to notice a pattern here, that each one of these people is incredibly trustworthy and loyal. Em has stood by my side throughout everything, even at times in school, she rose above the mediocracy and idle gossip of others to stand at my side. She has a fantastic accurate moral compass. Em is always one of the first to message with congratulations when things are going well and consistently one of the first to offer assistance when it’s not going so well.

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Putting up with my shit since 2006!

That’s the thing I love about Em so much is that dedication and well maybe our unique sense of humour! Em is one of those people who doesn’t ever see how awesome she is, always playing herself down. Em is one of the best people that I know, and I couldn’t think of a life without her. Who would I message every day? Who could I moan to about stuff without judgement? Who would I share my love of Wagamama trips with!?

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I’ve enjoyed travelling to European destinations with Em, I’ve enjoyed our weekends away to the Lakes climbing mountains and our trips to London, above all else, I just really enjoy her company. In all the time I’ve known her, we’ve never fallen out. Sure at times, I’ve wanted to kill her, case in point trying to find platform nine and fucking three quarters in Kings Cross in 30c heat in London. Or when that bitch πŸ˜‰ beat me in crazy golf to win the window seat on the plane to Amsterdam (grrrr. Still bitter! One point!). Emma is a stalwart of my friendship group, another one of those people who have just become such an immense pillar in my life. Her friendship means everything, I’m forever grateful for you and everything you stand for. I look forward to our monthly catch ups when we’re in our 90’s and laughing so much our teeth fall out!!

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Han:

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My fav midlander!

Back to undergrad friends now and like Chloe, Han has been a constant in my life since the first year of Uni. Han is one of the funniest people I know, whether she realises her humour or not, I do not know, but I find her hilarious! I get on so well with Han that every day we spent together was an absolute laugh, and even now we message each other every day without fail, and there is always a laugh to be had! Han is one of the most loyal and level headed people that I know. When her best friend and I broke up in Uni, it could have been very easy for her to pick a-side post break up but credit to Han, she never did. She had time for us both and never made anything awkward! As we’ve got older, I enjoy that Han is the one I have a daily moan to. Usually about the general public being idiots or football-related chats! Plus she’s the legend who loans me her BT account, so I can watch the football! What an epic person she is!

I’ve had so many fun times with Han, she introduced me to B movies, particularly any B movie titles with superlatives before sharks in it (Mega shark vs giant octopus was the first one she made me watch and oh boy is that still the best B Movie ever!). It’s also thanks to her that I’ve witnessed someone do the seemingly impossible and burn carrots! I can still taste that smell, haha! I love that we get to catch up every year and I’m proud of where you are in life right now, married to the awesome Dan and a little one on the way. You two are absolutely going to smash parenthood! That kid (baby Divok, you have to call it that!) is going to grow up with the two most loving, loyal, devoted, family-oriented parents. Han, you are beyond excellent, thank you for always being there!

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Ro:

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My fav ginge

Rochene, Ro, my fave ginger, whatever I call her, I love her. Unlike the others in this list who I’ve interacted with in-person from day one. Our friendship was for the first few years entirely based via Twitter! It was not until I offered to help her with some SPSS that we met up in Costa did we actually talk face to face! Ever since then, Ro has been one of my closest friends, and despite my love-hate relationship with SPSS, I thank it for the relationship we have now! Ro probably takes the title of being the most strong-willed and minded person I know. I thought I was strong-minded and stubborn, but boy does she give me a run for my money! Plus she’s probably the only person who truly competes with me on a sarcasm level. So. Much. Sass. She’s always very keen on keeping me grounded and putting me in my place!

Ro is definitely one of those people who sees the big gooey soft marshmallow side of me, and she puts up with all of my weirdness! Like all the others, loyalty in spades and is someone who has become another constant fixture and a pillar in my life. She is someone I will forever stand beside and back, regardless of the situation. She is by far the most complex person I know (in a good way), she’s a warrior, she’s brave, she’s independent, she’s incredibly funny, and she’s incredible! Weekends wouldn’t be the same without our coffee catch-ups, trips out walking to various places or just the simple task of running errands. Life would be pretty dull without you around! I cannot express how proud I am of you, for what you’ve achieved, what you’re doing, and what you stand for. You’ve taught me so many things that I don’t know where to begin. Thank you for always being around and putting up with me! For someone who is so small in stature, you’re an absolute giant to me!

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Final words:

There are so many people I could carry on about here, from old school pals like Shaun my cycling buddy, old uni friends like Mary and Sophie, to new ones from the PhD such as those from H105. They too are all incredibly special and are huge influences in my life, but oddly enough I probably tell them that more than I do the four above. I think I take them for granted at times, and that is why I’ve written this blog, to express my deepest love and thanks to four pillars of my life. I cannot imagine a life without you guys in it. A group of individuals who guide me, keep me grounded, help me achieve success, pull me out of the crap and above all else, a group of individuals that I am so unbelievably proud to say I know and that I am friends with.

Thank you!

This isn’t going to be my only dedication style blogs this year. Those others i mentioned there, don’t worry you’re getting your own blog post! I’m also going to be doing one about mentors and those who’ve influenced me to date. Keep an eye out for them! Above all, tell the people who you love that you appreciate, love and are thankful that they’re in your life. Share the love today!

My last academic trip to Bergen, Norway

PhDs are a journey and like all great journeys, they’re punctuated by moments, stages and turns. It felt surreal and a very long journey to on the eve of heading off to Norway for my final international and what was to be my last official conference as a PhD student. In my university at least, PhD students are expected to present their work at faculty and university level but to prove yourself you need to present on the world stage. You’re expected to present at both national and international conferences during your term as a PhD student. I’ve been fortunate to present at 4 national and 3 internationals both in the UK, Croatia (which can be read here My visit to Split, Croatia) and finally, here in Bergen, Norway.

What made the final conference trip special was not only was it in a place I’ve always wanted to visit, but for the first time, I’d be presenting twice. Alongside my PhD and my many hobbies, I work as an Editor for the International Journal for Students as Partners. It’s been a fantastic project I’ve been involved in from its inception, and while I still feel like I shouldn’t be there (good old imposter syndrome again), it’s very much been one of those amazing opportunities that I couldn’t turn down. It was most definitely when the opportunity arose to say yes and to learn how to do it later! To be an editor as a student and at this age is unbelievable and so rewarding, despite the amount of voluntary time it takes up in what is a busy schedule. I’m fortunate to not only work on a fantastic and vital journal with world-leading experts in SaP literature but to work with them on the editorial board. Despite the 9pm meetings with colleagues in the UK, Canada, USA and Australia and with the new addition of Hong Kong and Malaysia, it’s been a rewarding and challenging experience. Ruth, my longtime mentor (I’ve gone from being her student to her RA to finally my colleague at IJSaP, we share co-editor responsibilities for all Case Studies the journal receives) was presenting at the ISSoTL 18 conference about the journal alongside her work. What made it special was other colleagues on the board would be presenting too and after years talking to them via a computer screen in our meetings, I’d finally get to meet them all in person!

“The ability to present what was most likely my last academic conference with my mentor, where it all started. It had a nice full circle feel about it.”

It’s felt like a long journey from my first ever international conference in Amsterdam when I was an RA for Ruth. Way back then the world of conferences and most certainly at International level was a whole new and confusing world. However, Ruth has been and continues to be an excellent mentor, she guided me through that first international and even allowed me to present solo in that. Throwing you in the deep end was the best way to learn. Therefore, I felt proud and thankful that (a.) I arrive in Bergen comfortable at International Conferences with a few under my belt and (b.) The ability to present what was most likely my last academic conference with my mentor, where it all started. It had a nice full circle feel about it.

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Great opening at #issotl18 so far!

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Bergen in Norway was a place that always looked so beautiful, charming and at times, rugged. Nestled in the Fjords with it’s delicately painted shop fronts I was so excited to finally go and a fitting place it was for my final jaunt as a PhD student. With my laptop, camera and the all-important USB stick with my presentation on, I was off to the airport. I flew with a new airline this time (SAS) and on a brand new aircraft type for me, the Airbus A320 NEO (Avgeek win!). Getting to Bergen isn’t that easy! I had to fly from Manchester to Oslo, wait for two hours and then fly onwards to Bergen.

What actually happened, however, was a technical fault with the NEO meant that after a severe delay sitting on the plane, what was meant to be 2 hours turned into a 15-minute dash across Oslo airport including passport control, another security check and then a 2-mile run to catch my flight to Bergen! However, the landing in Oslo was terrific, as was the landing in Bergen! There is something special about flying after sunset across the frozen north, I was tired but filled with excitement for the next few days ahead.

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It's a bit cold here.

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After what felt like a very long day, I arrived in the cold rainy airport of Bergen, Norway, in the dark. After 40 minute tram ride I arrived into the city for the first time, the clatter of my Case behind me. My hotel was near the central train station of Bergen, and through the drizzle and low cloud, I could just about make out one of the three giant mountains that flank this small city. The glow of the street lights that crisscrossed up the mountain disappeared into the darkened sky. Cool, really cool, I thought. My hotel was a typical Scandinavian style, small but well equipped even if it did take me 5 minutes to work out how to turn the lights on! I was on the 8th floor with a giant wall to floor ceilings which made the room feel bigger than it actually was but good luck finding a big hotel room in this part of the world! After a shower, I was off to sleep.

The next morning I awoke to an amazing buffet breakfast and joys to me, free coffee! Nordic countries know how to make super strong coffee, which is just to my taste. The conference weirdly didn’t start until the welcoming ceremony in the evening, so it gave me a full day to go and get a feel for this city, a place I’ve wanted to visit for a long time. Within moments of walking through this city, I fell in love with it, it had that rustic charm that I found so endearing on my time on the maritime coast of Canada.

This place reminded me so much of St. John’s that all the memories came flooding back, it was just as cold as that place too! I loved the cobbled streets, the brightly coloured wooden shops and houses. In this part of the world, the sun rose late and set early, so I was out way before sunrise, but as the sun rose as I explored the city, I had a big travellers grin on my face!

As followers of my travels will know, I always go and climb the biggest thing there is in any new place I visit. What’s bigger than a mountain top? After a pleasant walk around the city, I put on my hiking boots and set up on the climb to the top of the mountain. After a fantastic walk through streets which turned into gravel tracks lined by dense Norwegian spruce forests, which then cleared away to reveal the city and the Fjords below. Simply stunning and well worth the effort of getting up here, a just reward indeed! I scoped the top of the mountain off for photo opportunities with my camera, and I went for a hike through the forests. I love hiking, especially alone in new places as it has that relaxed adventure vibe that I love. Plus, it’s a new challenge to get the best shots out of this stunning scenery in front of me. I came across dense forests and little lakes with tiny waterfalls. I loved it!

Waterfalls and rain Walkway to the mountain through the forest

However, I couldn’t spend too long as it was down the mountain on a train, which was cool! See the video!

Before it was back to the hotel to shower and change for the opening night of the conference, after all, that’s why I was here! I was presenting as part of the IJSaP team the next day and my PhD work on the final day of the conference in three days. So I devised a plan that evening and the following day I’d spend at the conference. The Friday, I’d go explore more and take a cruise around the Fjords (how could you not when you’re here!) then the Saturday was another conference day before I had a final free day to explore. I won’t talk too much about the conference but wow, what a conference to finish on! A genuinely supportive and enjoyable event to have been a part of. I loved meeting loads of new people, I loved presenting my own work and as part of a team, and it was great to finally meet my fellow colleagues! It truly was a super ending to my time as a PhD student on my final ever international conference.

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Time for a Fjord cruise!

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Away from the conference, however, I skipped a few sessions (don’t judge) to go and explore more of this beautiful city and the surrounding fjords. In between, my two days of presenting, I took a day off from the conference to go and explore the Fjords (I wasn’t the only conference attendee to do so either that day!). I looked online the night before due to the first day with no rain forecast since I got here, for around Β£60 a cruise would take you out for three hours into the beautiful fjords, I couldn’t turn down such an offer!

My mind casts back to when I sailed out of the river Mersey in torrential April showers with the Battle of the Atlantic fleet, all 26 warships heading out into the wild Irish Sea was a fond memory, but, a distinctly cold one. I’d never been so cold, until this cruise! Walking to the harbour, there was a crunch of ice underfoot as the rising sun glinted off the frost on the ground. I thought I’d get to the boat 30 minutes before departure, but It seems everyone else had the same idea, so I was already far back in the queue. Annoying too as I really wanted to get on the top deck. I was aware of the potential for, but how could you sit inside a boat when you were surrounded by all this beauty! Living in a Norwegian Fjord

Morning in the Fjords

I watched as our ship pulled alongside and before long everyone was boarded and I found a really nice little spot on the top deck. As we trundled out of the city and past the giant ice breaker resupply vessels, it was decidedly calm as we crossed the harbour wall and out into the fjords. Well, that illusion was shattered as the captain opened the throttles, and as the waves and speeds increased, so did the biting icy wind. I had thermals on but I might as well been wearing a t-shirt that’s what it felt like! The pain of the cold and particularly my fingers curled around my camera soon disappeared as I got lost in the beauty of it all. Morning fog hung in the valleys of fjords and the island like a fluffy blanket, the sun now lost behind a thick grey layer of cloud. I couldn’t stop myself from taking hundreds of pictures as I slowly watched the bridges and the fjords loom out of the mist, to then watching the mist swirl and form different shapes and then finally, the sun broke through clearing the mist from the water to reveal stunning peaks and troughs, snow-capped mountains and cascading waterfalls.

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😍

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This has to be the most beautiful place I have ever seen. I get it now, I really get why people put up with the cold to go cruising around the Fjords. As an avid World War 2 follower with history, I was brought to the thoughts of what it was like for both allied and axis ships patrolling such waters in horrific weather and especially the Bismark and Tirpitz who would hide out in the Fjords. Such idyllic location for such a war to be fort, the juxtaposition of the best of mother nature and the very worst of humankind. After three hours and well over 500 pictures, we arrived back on dry land. I could barely move, and my muscles ached from the constant battering of -25c wind chill. I exited the boat and walked straight across the harbour to a coffee shop. The heat inside wrapped around my chilled bones like a much-needed hug. Weirdly, in Norway, everyone’s English accent is well, weird. I’ve heard South African vibes, I’ve heard American and in front of me serving my long Americano was a quintessentially British woman. “Ah, you’re from Liverpool?” I guess my accent was a give-a-way for that. “Yeah, where in the UK are you from?”…”Oh I’m not, I’m from Oslo, I go to university here”. That messed with my head!

“I spent two hours drinking coffee, wrapping my hands around that lovely hot bean juice as each sip thawed me out.”

As you know, I am a fond coffee lover, and I’ve sampled many coffee shops all over North America and Europe. There is something about coffee shops, their vibes, the music, the constant chatter and often that cosy feeling. This little coffee shop that looked out into the small busy cobbled streets of Bergen with the harbour glistening behind me was much like the fjords, perfection. I spent two hours drinking coffee, wrapping my hands around that lovely hot bean juice as each sip thawed me out. I chatted to the locals and tourists and flicked through my pictures. What a fantastic morning! Back in the hotel, I got the hottest shower I could cope with and got in bed to edit my photographs.

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Coffee views!

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After a sleep and some food, I headed back out into the city to climb that mountain again. Despite still feeling a little frostbitten, I was so amazed by the photo opportunities in this city that I just had to get back out there for a sunset and some star photography. I think whatever you do in life you have to go watch a sunrise or a sunset from the peak of a mountain for you to truly appreciate natures beauty. As always on my trips, I’m often fortunate for mother nature to gift me such epic and truly wonderful sunsets.

After the sun had set and the thermometer dropped well below freezing I ended up hiking through the forest in the pitch black to find a nice spot for some star photography. I felt completely safe here but its possibly not the best idea to hike through a mountain forest with no map or torch, in the pitch black. Not my best idea, but sometimes you have to risk it for a great shot. Of which after stumbling upon a little lake, I was so glad I didn’t turn back. However, out of nowhere, the fog from this morning rolled back in, and I could barely see my own feet.

Nighttime on the lake

Star spangled forests

I used my phone camera to light the way, and suddenly I heard footsteps behind me! I was ready to use my tripod as a weapon, but what it turned out as it passed me in a blur was a local, obviously very used to the weather fell running at night! What a crazy Mofo and I certainly nearly had a heart attack! As soon as it came, the fog went again and the summit cleared to the twinkling lights of Bergen. I sat on an ice-cold slab of concrete with no one else around gazing at the stars and the views of the city far below. I reflected on what a fantastic final conference it had been and how far I had come. My journey as a PhD student was ending, but as I sit looking down upon high, it had been one hell of a journey!

Full album of pictures can be found here: https://flic.kr/s/aHsmmmE7Rj

Another Single Valentines day

Hey guys, well it’s that time of year again where single people like me wallow in self-pity. Doubly so this year as I can’t even comfort eat the numerous heart-shaped chocolates in the shops as I’m lactose/dairy intolerant, so it’s a double dagger to my jaded heart. Cruel. I mean I’m totally cool with being single for the 7th valentines day running, who’s counting…sniff…I say as the crumbs of my 25th consecutive Oreo falls into my beard (attractive I know ladies!).

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Valentines day blogs I’ve covered everything from the perfect gifts, to the bitter blogs about it being a corporate day which has origins in a Roman guy who stalked a girl, then died pushing her out of the way of a runaway cart. People say that’s cute! I say that’s a Netflix criminal documentary. These blogs, the emotional robot Tony (yes I do have them) often allow me to discuss my feelings on subjects of love and women. They’re often my favourite blogs over the years. After all my love of writing blogs came from me trying to deal with the shitstorm of 6th form. Over the years I’ve felt less and less inclined to wear my heart so openly online, I’m sure you’ve either read or can find those past blogs somewhere online. Yet, despite that I still love these types of blogs. Some of them are fun like a blog I wrote about why I’m single The Single Life of a Tony, or one of my favourite and actually most read blog was my joke take on what the perfect woman would be What would the perfect girl be if she existed?! Other blogs, well they’ve been a bit more sombre but packed a message like this one Cheating in relationship, is it in the Jeans?.

For this one, well I’ll try and strike a balance between the two! Lately, I’ve given some thought to relationships, I’ve been a bit preoccupied for a while with other stuff. I’ve had close friends start new relationships and others ending, I’ve seen those on a high and those struggling. Add to that I’m coming to the end of my PhD and in all honesty having absolutely no clue what lies in store for me next and the terrifying feeling I feel about leaving that life and for the first time probably ever, that I don’t have a solid plan or goal, it has made me think about a lot of things lately. Top piece of advice, I may seem like I have my shit together, but I’m just like you, a twig in a river just in for the ride having no clue.

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The last valentine’s day I spent with someone the tap jammed on and the kitchen nearly flooded with boiling hot water, and we spent the evening filling pots and pans to stop the water from flooding the kitchen. If that wasn’t a metaphor for how that relationship would eventually end, I don’t know what is haha! I’m not going to throw shade in this blog at people in relationships and whatever it is you do on valentines day. Whether you make it special or not, it’s your relationship and I for one and not in a position to judge. You know my thoughts on having a day to celebrate your love for another person and whether I think this is how it should be done.

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In terms of me, well yeah another year single. I honestly thought that last year that would have changed but as per usual with me and my love life well it’s often a square trying to fit into a circle, it never quite fits. I’ll pass on three scenarios or instances where I thought it would change, but the universe as usual laughed and went no.

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For the first time in a long, long time did I entertain the thought of being with someone, people commented on how I was smiling a lot more and was funnier and yeah, I did want to be a better person for her. I’ll take a side step here for a second to explain something. Despite my opening remarks, I’m actually a pretty happy single, I’ve written blogs before about how important it is when you come out of a relationship which you give your all in, to recharge, rediscover yourself and ultimately, forgive your flaws. After all, if you can’t love yourself then how can anyone ever truly love you and you to love someone else? What this means, however, when you’re very self-assured of yourself as well while you may miss having that one person to entirely rely on, or the cute things like morning kisses, on the whole, you enjoy life, you appreciate who you are and that’s important because you’re whole as a person and don’t need someone else to make you whole. I think that’s incredibly important! So when someone comes along who when you are a whole person make you sit up and think, well hey, this girl I want to be better than I am now and they’re going to enhance what I have. Take yourself from 10 to 11, that extra level you haven’t unlocked yet.

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So I met someone who for the first time in ages those thoughts crossed my mind, of course as per usual they were taken. I rolled my eyes, we’ve seen this episode before in the sitcom or is that the horror show that is my love life? Anyway, long story short the classic I’ll wait for her to sort her stuff out and I’ll be a gentleman and not tell her how I truly feel about her, it was too late. The moment had gone. That’s cool, we’ve been here before. As another joke, there was someone else who passed the Tony test, someone I didn’t really think would but did, and I enjoyed every moment with them, but circumstances meant that that would never happen. At least I now have a pretty good yardstick of who to compare to, to live up to my idea of a perfect woman. Lastly, while those two were the standard typical me issues, the latter is when I came to realise that I am destined to be single probably for another few years. It’s like every time something crops up to close that door. Those on Facebook will know about the Bumble story.

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Eugh. If that wasn’t a sign, then I don’t know what is. People used to think I’d be taking the piss with how unlucky I am with women, but that just proves it. To quote one of my dear friends “Tony, you really are the most unluckiest people in love I’ve ever met”. I have to agree. If you don’t know the story, well, after months, probably years of β€œYou need to go dating, go on the dating apps” I caved in and dipped my fishing rod into the sea of online dating. Hardly any fish bit except one. A really good looking redhead (you know my Achilles heel), smart, super funny, loved black coffee and aviation, I was thinking well finally, here she is, the one that ticks all the boxes. We get on like a house on fire, and before I could ask to meet up on a date, I get ghosted. No messages for a week. From 100mph to 0. I’d heard about this dreaded phenomenon in the online world of being ghosted. I was, to put it mildly, fuming. After a week I go back onto my message on bumble, I couldn’t face it until then. That’s when the universe played a blinder and to be fair if I weren’t the butt of the joke I’d have pissed myself laughing at it. My phone and the app for whatever fucking reason decided to hold all her messages and not inform me she sent them. So while I thought I had been ghosted, I had inadvertently ghosted her. Her final message “Wow, I really thought we were getting on so well. I didn’t expect you to ghost me.”

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I messaged to explain the situation to no avail. I guess she read that and was like suuuure your phone did that, you complete dick. So yeah, whoop. That was fun, and by fun, I mean about as fun as being on Merseyrail.

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So while my single life is a shitshow as per usual someone asked me a question recently that actually got me thinking about where I stand on it all. She asked me, β€œTony, would you trade in all of your degrees, all of your numerous awards and all of your successes for a happy and lasting relationship right now?”

I didn’t even hesitate in answering.

No.

No, I wouldn’t, and I’ll tell you why and why I feel comfortable single. Every degree, every award, every accolade I’ve done that on my own. I haven’t needed someone to confide in, to console, to complete me, that’s all me. It’s a badge of honour. It shows myself that I can do things, I can achieve and when it all goes to crap, I can always rely on myself. Behind those degrees and awards is a lifetime of failure, stress, self-doubt, imposter syndrome to name but a few negatives. Yet, it’s each fall, each hurdle, that I’ve had to pick myself up, learn, move forward, always moving forward. So no, I wouldn’t trade any of that in for a relationship.

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That got me thinking then that while I joke that the universe is against me when it comes to the opposite sex, I think actually I’m the problem! I’ll tell you why or at least why I think I am. The first reason is that I am a problem solver and I give advice, and I don’t beat around the bush. While I am deeply emotional as a person, you’ll never see that in person. I value rational thought and logic over emotions. While that is one of my strengths as I can cut through bullshit and sort mostly any problem out and I would say that those who are close to me value that quality that a spade is a spade. While that’s great as a friend or a colleague would a girl always want to be called out on the bad things to be improved? I’m not trying to be mean, not at all, just if I see you can be more efficient or improve something I’ll tell you. Of course, while I try to be a bit more inclined to the emotionally sensitive people, I imagine that how I come across is a bit abrasive.

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The second problem on those lines is I am so hard on myself. Always have been and probably always will be. Daft but a recent example, I’ve just finished writing my thesis in 2 years 5 months, way faster than the average and while so many people have been like that is amazing, you should be so proud. My first thought, why didn’t you finish it in 2 years 4 months, why didn’t you push yourself to write more papers instead of the one etc. I can’t ever just pat myself on the back, and when others send praise, I brush it off as it’s nothing. What that transpires into is that I demand a lot from myself, so those who I hold dear I demand their best too. I mentioned before that I’m a problem solver, my default is okay, here is a problem, right, how can I sort that for you so that you’ll be happy again or can move forward. What I’ve slowly become to learn is actually a lot of women just want to be listened to, to have someone agree and say you’re in their corner. Not to solve their problems but to say yeah, I’m standing with you on this one.

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Finally, what this all boils down to being single for so long is that I am utterly shitting myself for my next relationship. I’m terrified to take that step again, to open up my heart for fear of the damage an ending will have again. Heartbreak is the literal worst thing you can experience. It’s easier to not be in a relationship to not be hurt, and therefore walls are set in a solid foundation. When you’ve thought for just yourself for so many years, to then, think for two people will genuinely be a challenge for me. I know that one day I’m going to have to find the courage to retake that leap of faith, lately, each time I pluck up the courage something crops up. I know people say everything happens for a reason, well I’d like to see that reason sooner rather than later!

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Sometimes I sit here though, and I’m glad that I’m single. I see the pain that some people post break up go through, and I relive that crap time. I sympathise. I then see people really not happy in relationships but are so afraid to start again, to take drastic steps to be happy themselves that they stay in unhealthy relationships, denying themselves a better option and being in denial that things will get better. One thing that being single for so long gives you is clarity. Sometimes I think people fall in love with the idea of love and not the person. Love is fucking hard. Love isn’t holding hands, it isn’t supporting each other in the good times or telling them you love them when you feel like it. Love is when the shit hits the fan in your life, and the other person stands with you, love is when you’ve been chucking your guts up and look like death, and they tell you you’re beautiful because to them beauty if way past what you look like. Love is when you fundamentally disagree on an issue, but you put that aside and support unconditionally because you’re a team. You rely on each other. Love is making those efforts in the moments where it all seems like it could fall apart, but you work at it because you’re both invested.

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What I see, more often than not, however, is people think they’re in love when in fact they’re in love with the idea of love. They don’t love themselves or know what they want, so they settle for what they think they deserve. What this breads in the end if people who let their partner take liberties or actually when they take a close look realise they have nothing in common or actually we’re a team publically but behind closed doors we’re as far apart as can be. If you’re not happy in a relationship, you really need to leave, for your own sake and for the other person. Sure, it’s a weird single world out there, and I bet the thought of starting again is fucking terrifying, but at least you’re giving yourself the real possibility of finding happiness again. Find yourself or at least a teammate who’s going to always give you 100%.

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However, I see why valentines day is the day it is. Love is crazy, messed up, it’s fire and ice, it’s a rainbow in a storm, a light in an endless tunnel. I get it. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss having someone back me 100% as more than a friend, I’d be lying if I didn’t miss morning messages or random hairs on your clothes, and I’d be definitely lying if I didn’t say I miss the sex life. Which, for those asking is I think has now gone past drought to the UN’s definition of extinct! I’d be lying if I didn’t miss the powerful emotions that come with love. Future girlfriend better get ready for the best 10 seconds of her life!

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So, if you’re in a happy relationship and you love the person you’re with, on valentines day, I get it, I really do, and I applaud you. Tell that person you love them, not just on the 14th but every day. Sure, you’re going to hit turbulence along the way but make it work if you’re both committed. Never lose sight of the fact that you’re a team.

If you’re in a relationship and you’re deeply unhappy. As scary as it is, leave. It won’t get better, it never does, I’ve seen it a billion times before. You’re denying yourself a chance of happiness. If you’re newly single or just single, yeah this day sucks, it reminds you that even people like Hitler had a partner and you don’t. You’re literally less desirable than Hitler. I feel your pain. The 14th is brutal. But guess what, you are strong, you are you, you fight your battles every day on your own, you’re valued, and you won’t be as unlucky as me because I think I’m taking one for the team when it comes to love.

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So for next year, who knows if it’ll be 8 years or I’ll be one of those annoying over the top soppy people. Tune in next year guys. As always though, whatever happens, love yourself and give yourself a break!

Until next time.

A look back on 2018 part 2

July

Starting July with a 50-mile cycle around Lake Geneva in my books is one hell of a way to start a month off!

A fantastic few days away this was. I look back fondly on my trip to Croatia and the trip to Switzerland, perfect days with not a care in the world with the best company. Sadly for a long time that would be the last time I’d see Laura as she headed off to new pastures down south and its when the year started to get a bit crap without my sidekick with me!

But despite the turn for the worse from July onwards, this caption sums life up well.

I brought a new phone in July after dropping mine while trying to take a selfie on the bike in Geneva, oops! The Samsung S9+ is, however, the best phone I’ve owned to date!

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Selfie mode on the S9 plus is awesome!

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I was home for only a few days before I was off on my travels again. This time I was heading to deep South Wales after I was invited by the British Ecological Society to run a workshop on Drone with their A-level course down in Port Talbot. What a totally rewarding and fantastic few days away that was, it was hot and hard work but the kids were lovely, and it really felt like I had made a difference to these kids.

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Moth traps set for tonight

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2 days later I was back on my travels south again, this time for pleasure as we headed off to the Royal International Air Tattoo. The biggest airshow in the world and we just so happened to have front row seats!

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Front row flightline seats! Let's goooo!

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F35 is a bit loud!

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I still snigger at this. Lolz.

I also finally got around to putting some pictures up in my room of my travels.

August

While the UK baked in one of the hottest summers on record, with the office empty of people as they were either on a break, in new jobs or were travelling, I was working flat out on the PhD alone. This summer was one long montage of movie themes and hard work.

In between all the hard work was the brutal extraction and complicated extraction at that of my wisdom tooth. I’d been putting up with the pain since April and finally got it sorted but holy fuck it was one of the worst pains having that out that I’ve ever had and that’s coming from someone who’s had multiple operations and 8 leg breaks!

A summer of editing and writing

Amazing what painkillers and determination will get you.

This picture summed up 2018 at times, just when everything is going well you fall down haha.

While the PhD was the focus of my last summer as a PhD student, it didn’t stop me taking some time out with my Ginger Zinger to go hiking. I’d wanted to head up to Mau Famau for ages and when Ro called up and wanted to go on an adventure, i knew the place to go!

And I’m always happiest outdoors up a mountain! Where the geographer belongs.

September

After a month of solid writing and spending my downtime hiking or cycling I was as fit as I’d ever felt.

Which just left more room for many many BBQs on what was fabulous weather for once!

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Mmmmmmm BBQ!

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And plenty of time catching up with the best people!

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Sunday impromptu walks! 😁

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Another day, another conference. This time I headed up to Leeds to present at the Enhancing Fieldwork Learning conference. One of the best conferences I’ve been to and I loved presenting my work there.

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Light pollution over Leeds at night.

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Finally, a few days off came. Happy times!

But the days off don’t last long and once again I was on another train heading north, this time to Newcastle for the BERA conference. The biggest conference I could present at as an Education, PhD student. I was nervous but excited!

While my presentation went well, the conference itself was a bit crap! Too most elite for my liking but thank god my friend and office buddy Vic was presenting too at the conference! She made that conference for me πŸ˜€

As a life long Newcastle United fan, after being a Mascot for them as a kid, I finally managed to visit my favourite club!

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I finally visited my favourite club!

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And Vic holds the record for being the only person to get me out to drink in a town centre at 1 a.m. Many have tried but failed!

Back home it was time to relax by going to see the Royal Tattoo but this time in Liverpool. We’ve done the official one on Edinburgh before, but as a treat to my Dad we had a great father-son evening, drinking whiskey, eating steak in Millers & Carter and watching a fabulous show.

October

October started off pretty well I’d say!

After a hell of a lot of work over the summer burring myself, my first draft of my PhD was finished. This was quite emotional to get to this point. The PhD was nowhere near finished but its a major point in the life of a PhD student, the end which was once so far away was finally starting to come into view. It was time to enjoy the moment before months of editing and rewriting was to come.

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One phd draft equals half a forest

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While the family were on holiday abroad, I spent the many nights on my own stargazing in the back garden and rewarded with capturing a meteor!

For those of you who follow my Instagram stories will all recall this night well haha

October brought death in the family that hit me the hardest this year. Great Uncle Peter I absolutely idolised. I was and still am to know he’s no longer with us. When the family asked me to say a few words at his funeral, I wanted to, but I was aware of how much responsibility that was, to sum up, someone’s life who meant so much to you. Weirdly, that’s my proudest moment of 2018. Delivering that Eulogy which was my trademark sincere but full of humour style, what he would have wanted, getting a lot of laughs at a funeral is something not everyone does every day that’s for sure. Seeing the family proud and that I summed him up to a T really helped me and I’m glad I could do him proud one last time. I miss you, Pete.

I didn’t have too much time to process the funeral as I was straight on a flight to Norway for my final international conference as a PhD student.

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It's a bit cold here.

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Bergen was a truly fantastic place to visit for the ISSOTL conference a bit of time for solo travelling.

One of my favourite memories of this year was sitting in this coffee shop, with my cold hands wrapped around the cup, watching the people of Bergen pass the windows as coffee house music floated around me. It was the best coffee shop I’ve ever gone into. I had just stepped off a 3-hour Norwegian Fjord cruise, despite being layered up I was frozen to the bone. I spent 2 hours warming up, chatting to the locals and going through the hundreds of pictures of what was an amazing few hours in the Fjords.

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Coffee views!

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And the Fjord, wow. They were stunning.

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😍

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Bergen is surrounded by mountains, and every night I was there I took the lone hike through the forest up the mountain for a nighttime hike. I was rewarded with stunning clear skies and amazing stars.

Bergen is just as stunning at night as it is in the day.

That was it, my last two presentations as a PhD student was officially over. I’d presented in different countries and at two major international conferences. Hundreds of miles away from home at the top of a mountain I reflected on the journey on a such a cold but clear night. The following is one of my favourite pictures of 2018. Where the adventure will lead next, I have no idea, but I can’t wait to find out.

You’d be mad after a week of hiking and travelling to come home and go straight back out hiking, but that’s exactly what I did!

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Frozen in the rain but worth it!

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October started with a Β£100 win, and it ended with one too, boom!

And the Pumpkin of the year…

November

Autumn had arrived, I hate Autumn, and I hate winter, but I love it for the colours and photography.

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#autumn🍁

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Remembrance Sunday help a poignant and special meaning this year.

As with the lows in life, there are often the highs too. I was on my travel again to the Midlands to see my best friend from Uni, Han get married to Dan. A couple I had shipped for so long and was so happy to see get married! And what a wedding!! It was amazing, and it was great to catch up with the old housemates, and they’re witness to a very rare thing, me dancing!!

This sums up editing a PhD thesis.

Again, when you’re about to give up its often the moment that you make a breakthrough to carry on. I got my first ever academic citation from my paper I wrote last year! Aaaaaaaahhh!!!

December

What better way to start December than having our yearly jaunt around Liverpool Christmas market with Ro!

The next day I took Em out for her Birthday meal in Millers & Carters. Can you get a better present than steak?

Of course, Meryseyrail where still being Merseryrail so I had no choice but to drink coffee and go Christmas shopping.

We finally got a new kitchen!

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Our new kitchen is done!

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Which meant our Xmas celebrations were way off kilter and at the last minute we managed to get out tree up. Phew.

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Tree is finally up! Merry Cliffemas!

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But to me, the best gift for Christmas was being reunited with this one for a little while before she headed back off for new adventures and more hard work!

Who knows what 2019 will bring? For me, I should finish my PhD and become Dr Cliffe. I plan on going travelling to new countries, continue to photograph everything in sight, value and cherish the moments I have with those that I love and hold dear whether they’re near or far. I don’t know what job I’ll have or where I’ll end up or what 2019 will be like. This year can be topped, but as I look back, there has been a lot of highs and some crushing lows. The hardest thing for me in the second half of the year was adjusting to work-life alone again. Laura heading off, Katie and Rosie moving to different countries and Vic travelling over summer meant a lonely summer slaving away on the PhD. I realised how much I’d come to rely on their company and humour each day. They made 2017 for me, and the adventures we’d shared in the first half of 2018 meant everything. 2019, I head out alone again on this road, but while they’re not here next to me, they come on this journey in my heart, and whatever we do in 2019, I’m sure it will be worth it, we’ll get there!

So no matter what your goals are or your aspirations for 2019, remember with the right attitude and hard work you can achieve it. I wish you, my followers and readers, a 2019 that is better than 2018 and I hope its a fantastic year for you. As always, you’ll see my 2019 on here, the good and bad. Who’s ready for another year of adventure hey?

Until next year,

Toe

X

My look back at 2018 part one

 

 

Hey guys, 2018 well I’d give it a solid 7. The first half of the year was up there close to 10 but the second half of the year hasn’t been so great so brings it down to a 7 overall. I’ve had worse years, but I’ve had better ones that’s for sure. However, in this first blog, I want to look back with the help of my Instagram to talk through my year with some of my favourite images that have captured those moments this year. So let’s have a trip down memory lane!

January

For me, the picture above was one of the first ones I took in 2018, and it’s one of my favourites of the year. For Laura’s birthday, we made a snowy trip up to the Lake District and after battling snow and icy roads we decided to stop at the top of the valley, stand in the middle of the road to capture this image. It was a brilliant day and a great first trip of note in 2018. Even if I did have to run in the snow!

January wasn’t all play, sadly there was a lot of work too. By the end of January, I had analysed the first part of my PhD data, but that didn’t stop me going a little bit doolally.

February

By the time February came around work was well underway and the weather started to take a turn for the wintry. February is often one of my favourite months for photography, at least for star photography anyway. This year the full moon in February didn’t disappoint.

Of course, when it comes to wintry weather and merseyrail, they’re two things that never quite go together. This commute home took me a grand total of just over 3 and a half hours. It involved numerous cancelled trains and a 2-mile walk to then get a delayed train. Joys of commuting in winter.

When the weather abated it was time to get the bike out of the warmth of the house and head out onto the open road. It became a standard thing on Sunday to go out on our cycles together, this is one of many cycling selfies this year!

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Winter training continues in crosswinds!

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With the winter Olympics going on at the same time in Feb the office decided to get in on the action too with a closely fought sweepstake. Each day I would put the medal total on the large chart we made in the office, but after a close 2 weeks of competitive nature, Vic was the eventual winner of the 2018 PhD office Olympics!

Finally, after 8 years we finally got a good snowfall in Maghull!

I would often every Monday morning do a doodle to leave on Katie’s desk and this was a fitting PhD related message when everyone felt like they were in a slump, including me!